I think I have lost it....

I have been wandering around way too long keeping my thoughts and emotions and sordid feelings all bottled up inside my head...and of course my heart...so in fact the thought of blogging again leaves me a bit anxious...nervous...and wondering if I have it in me to spill forth the feelings anymore? Baby steps...I know I have to take Baby Steps...so on this week before Christmas I saunter back into the blogging world with my head held high and my heart on my sleeves..over one year after the filing of my divorce papers I am still not divorced. I am stuck in this cesspool of lawyer, legal hell...it just drags on and on...and unless you have butt loads of money, they are in no hurry to clear their desk of you. It just doesn't matter to them either way. They will fight for you if you need them to, but you gotta make it worth their while....it is very frustrating...and in my case, and in every other divorce case that involves children..NOBODY will win. NOBODY. I had a car wreck this week...yep...Mom doing the multitasking...turned to give my youngest his drink and make certain he wasn't going to spill it and never knew what hit me...found myself face first into the big red truck in front of me. The story gets better....insurance lapse. Need I say more? I had been griping and complaining about being home from work that day with my sick child...missing a day from work was going to make the check after the holidays short...and my boss doesn't pay holiday pay...so missing on Christmas was already going to make me short...so that's 2 days without pay on that check...yep...I learned real quick things can always get worse!