Seriously??

Every time I watch broadcast TV it stoops to a new low. ABC is obvioulsy trying to push marriage through it's Monday primetime lineup....jeesh...could it get any worse? The men move down a human size conveyor belt (who got the gig on building that bad boy?)before four women who raise a paddle stating "interested" or "not interested"....try as I might I could find my paddle that said "booyah" to ABC for stooping to MTV level....really, if I wanted to watch a Tiya Tequila wanna be I would have tuned in to whatever crusty show she appears on!

Well...obviously they did something right...they held my, mouth gaped wide open, attention for an hour straight and got me to bring it up 3 days later on my "I really have nothing better to talk about blog "today....hmmmm could that be their angle?

It's going to be a New Year...whether I am ready or not! Might as well throw those resolutions out there for all to see....

My resolutions are simple....and few. They are HUGE to me since I normally do not make New Years resolutions....see last post....
~Do something Nice for "ME" every single day....
I am not trying to sound selfish...but there are days I don't do one darn nice thing for myself. Some things this may include: a facial, painting my piggies, a piping hot cup of my favorite hot tea and allow Mr. Michael Buble or Josh Groban sing me a love song. Allow myself to go visit a friend. Go to the cheap-o jewlery store and buy myself a new pair of earrings or a great scarf.
~ Excercise on some level each and every day. Seriously, should this really be that hard? It is...when you live the life of a slug, it is hard. No doubt once I break my sluggish habits it will make me not so rrrrrr about it.
~Do something I have NEVER done before (not sure what that will be but I will let you know when I figure that one out)
~Go a few steps farther in getting my book published.
~Take a girls trip~ one night, two nights...something....I need this for my soul, I really do.
~Go on a date....shhhhh do not tell my mother...haven't warmed her up to that idea yet, but I want to go out with someone really nice.....to be continued.
~Wear each and every piece of clothing in my closet...yep, even the buckle jeans that I cannot pull up over my thighs. I recall them fitting once before....it is a vague and distant memory.
~Find my abs.....
~simply stated, eat healthier, drink more water....do good to my body, for heavens sake, don't eat at night and don't eat in the middle of the night!
~I have spiritiual and emotional goals that are just plain too personal to blog about just yet...I am taking baby steps remember?
I think that is all really.....
oh, I would love to be able to take the kids on at least a mini vacation....we shall see. (not really a goal, but a big old fat wish)
Blessings to all my family and friends for 2010....
Jessica

A New Year is Dawning...

Normally I shy away from "resolutions"...I mean really, why do that to myself, get myself all worked up and all focused only to let myself down in huge "me" fashion, but I am thinking this year is different. I mean think about it Jessica....everything in your life has changed completely in the past 14 months and although it has been hard, I have rolled with it. I never thought I could move out on my own....have a nice apartment...pay for my utilities etc....and be able to do it without falling flat on my face...but it has happened, and I am by the Grace of God still hanging on...fingers popping, bout to let go more often than not, but nonetheless...still hanging.
I said to myself..."Jessica, you are not getting any younger...and you can hardly button your pants, and you don't have the mualah to go out and spruce up your wardrobe with the latest elastic fashions and you have yourself a pretty nice wardrobe if you could just squeeze your lazy a$%^& into your britches. I know that is a kinda shallow way to start off the new year...thinking about my big ole backside...but the truth be known, it is no longer just my backside...its my belly (all 3 of them) and my back...good Lordy what in the world happened to my back? It used to be a cute back....resembled a back....there was never a question that it was a back...but now it resembles something I saw that had nothing to do with a back...sheeshhh....
ok so what are you going to do about it? I am proud to say I am "recovered" from a 18 year eating disorder...and I praise the Lord I don't want to even think about heading down that self destructive road again, and even though I am quite upset at the way I have allowed myself to gain weight...I still have no desire to abuse my body ever again. This is abuse enough....and you know what, I love myself enough to be honest with myself and I am standing up to me and declaring....Enough already! to be continued....with my new years resolutions....they are some good ones...and this year they are meant to encourage me....not discourage me. :)

Now this is a sad story!

A 4 year old boy grabs a beer and sets out down the street to rob his neighbors home of Christmas presents! One of the presents he took was for a little girl and it was a brown dress which the boy was found wearing along with holding a partially consumed beer....his reason? He knew that this was wrong and he was hoping to get arrested so he could go to jail and be with his father! His poor mother was so embarrassed and worried about her son, and was ultimately told by child protective services that she would be allowed to keep her son....she better invest on some good locks and keep an eye on the smart little man who sees a life of crime as a way to be near to his father. Wanna read the full story then click on the title...if I figured it out right it should go to the news article.
Sheesh...how depressing!

I think I have lost it....

I have been wandering around way too long keeping my thoughts and emotions and sordid feelings all bottled up inside my head...and of course my heart...so in fact the thought of blogging again leaves me a bit anxious...nervous...and wondering if I have it in me to spill forth the feelings anymore?
Baby steps...I know I have to take Baby Steps...so on this week before Christmas I saunter back into the blogging world with my head held high and my heart on my sleeves..over one year after the filing of my divorce papers I am still not divorced. I am stuck in this cesspool of lawyer, legal hell...it just drags on and on...and unless you have butt loads of money, they are in no hurry to clear their desk of you. It just doesn't matter to them either way. They will fight for you if you need them to, but you gotta make it worth their while....it is very frustrating...and in my case, and in every other divorce case that involves children..NOBODY will win. NOBODY.
I had a car wreck this week...yep...Mom doing the multitasking...turned to give my youngest his drink and make certain he wasn't going to spill it and never knew what hit me...found myself face first into the big red truck in front of me. The story gets better....insurance lapse. Need I say more? I had been griping and complaining about being home from work that day with my sick child...missing a day from work was going to make the check after the holidays short...and my boss doesn't pay holiday pay...so missing on Christmas was already going to make me short...so that's 2 days without pay on that check...yep...I learned real quick things can always get worse!

A Profile?

My dear friend-Jessica, when this is all said and done I know exactly
what we need to do....a sure fire way for you to meet someone really
nice....
Me-I don't wanna meet anyone.....nice or un-nice...unless Patrick Dempsey is available and wants to go out for dinner or something then I will reconsider.

My friend- now Jessica when the divorce is final then give
yourself some time but then you need to think about your future....

Me- I have thought about my future, thus explains why I am a 30
something woman who has found herself in the midst of a
divorce....trust me, no one has thought about her future more than me!

Friend- I understand you may not want to think about it now but you
deserve to meet someone nice and who can "take care of you"

Me- well...that is my first mistake....thinking someone would be around
to "take care of me"

you see where that line of thinking got me!

Friend- nevermind, you don't have to do anything right now...but
in a month or so......E-HARMONY.COM
we are going to get you a profile......a good one.(god knows you need it I swear she mumbled under her breath but she denies it!!)
Me-thanks.....
(jeez....is this depressing or what....? I have decided that
there are perks to this whole seperated...and soon to be divorced way
of life so I have decided to list them for you so you can A,
envy me, or B. feel incredibly sorry for me)

In David Letterman fashion:

10. I get the complete bed....all of it! I can get up in the morning,
and simply pull the sheet and blanket up...thats it! no major bed
overhaul...no sheet/covers/comforters strewn about.

9. I get to leave all my makeup out all over the bathroom counter if I
want

8. I can stay up blogging/reading blogs as long as I want.

7. I can buy all the yogurt I want...and no longer have to explain why
I bought 37 cans of tuna....(gosh I love a good sale!!)

6. I can watch Hope Floats whenever I desire.

5. I can sleep in hair curlers....

4. I can buy home items in PINK

3. No more little black hairs all over my bathroom sink.

2. I can eat bon bons and no one can say crap...and if I gain weight
and remain in elastic for a month...the fact is I can "NOT diet" if I
want!

1.I NO LONGER HAVE TO SHAVE MY LEGS AND NO ONE CARES!!!

I am sure it won't actually get this bad...but let me enjoy this a
little while longer...before you go and get me a Profile!

.

The Next Chapter

I have been slowly getting back into the swing of things again....feel I need to update things here on my blog...and begin blogging again for my own sanity. I am going through a divorce...it is messy, painful, and at times it is hard to keep my head above water. I have been a wife and stay at home mom for almost 10 years and now I am a single, (almost divorced) woman, who works full time, and is basically a single parent.
I moved into an apartment last month and although I miss my home and yard, I am loving this place as well and the peace that I feel when I go home. Looking back in the short month I have had to do so I realize just how bad things had gotten. The evidence is apparant in the changes in my children in my presence now , as opposed to before when we all lived in the home together. They are much more lighthearted and free to express themselves. I am sad that I contributed to them feeling uncomfortable at home when their dad and I were around together....
There are so many things I need to get out...and it will be a process...and as I begin to go through my feelings and work through some of the emotions I am feeling I am going to need to blog.

Wow, how time changes EVERYTHING

I am in the middle of a divorce....I have moved to an apartment...my life does not resemble my life a few months ago....I now work full time...at www.thesewingcenter.com
and I am only with my kids 50 percent of the time. It sucks....and life stinks pretty much right now....why did I find my old blog and post this? cause I am going to need to start blogging again and I thought I would just stick one little toe back in to blogland...you know, get my feet wet just a bit....reach out to others...who hopefully will find me again....and I loved the laughs from visiting some of your crazy old blogs.....and I need to laugh right now.

You know it's been too long when....

You go to log in and you have forgotten your password and have to have it emailed to you!
Doing this thingy.....because I am awake at a very ridiculous hour!

A is for age: 38
B is for burger of choice: I like any kind of burger so long as it is not pink/red in middle and is accompanied by mayo!
C is for the car I drive: 2001 Mercury Villager a.k.a the "mommobile"
D is for your dog's name: Barkley.
E is for essential item you use every day: soap
F is for favorite TV show at the moment: Grey's Anatomy.
G is for favorite game: any game with kids
H is for home state: Georgia
I is for instruments you play: lol!
J is for favorite juice: cranberry
K is for whose bum you'd like to kick: husbands
L is for last restaurant at which you ate: Jason's deli
M is for your favorite Muppet: miss piggy
N is for number of piercings: 2 in ears.
O is for overnight hospital stays: several....all baby related....oh, and tonsils when in 2nd grade.
P is for people you were with today: too many to mention
Q is for what you do with your quiet time: read, sleep, computer, sit quietly!
R is for biggest regret: wow....pass
S is for status: Married with children.
T is for time you woke up today: 8:30
U is for what you consider unique about yourself: lol...pass
V is for vegetable you love: broccoli
W is for worst habit: procrastination
X is for x-rays you've had: don't remember
Y is for yummy food you ate today: salad
Z is for zodiac: Libra And I fit it to a T.

Because I have nothing else to blog about......

"The Top ten most polite ways to tell a male that his zipper is downtown Julie Brown"
by David Letterman




10. The cucumber has left the salad.


9. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells.


8. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position.


7 . Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson..


6. Elvis is leaving the building.


5. The Buick is not all the way in the garage.


4. Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction.


3. You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.


2. Men may be From Mars.....
But I can see something that rhymes with Venus.


And the #1 way to tell someone his zipper is unzipped.....
1. I always knew you were crazy, but now I can see your nuts.



Have I really stooped this low in blogland? Is it possible that one can really laugh for 12.2 minutes straight at these ridiculous meanderings? Is it so blah blah blah in real life that I have nothing better to do with my precious time? Well....just check yes to all of the above....and know that I am quite pitiful.

Have a wonderful day in blogland.....my wonderful escape from reality!