Ummmm ouch...

Why is when you are hurt by someone you want to look to that person to help you feel better? It is like you give them all the power to take care of your feelings. Wouldn’t it be more logical to take a step back and look at the situation and say to yourself…whoa Nellie, that really hurt me and I don’t really like how this feels at all so I am going to take a more cautious approach to my involvement with this person. I am going to seek out things and people that don’t hurt. I don’t mean take a jog away from each and every person or situation that causes you pain, but I mean to render them or that situation powerless over your heart. Ok, that really sounds amazing, and I think I heard something similar to that spoken at a counseling session one day, but how do you really do that? Sometimes we jump feet first into hurtful situations hoping that this time it might not hurt so much…what are we thinking? Odds are if it hurt last time, then it is going to keep hurting. I have learned that there are certain people in your life path that simply do not mind hurting you. I have learned that out of 100 people, 99 of them will never hurt you, but there is that 1 that can hurt you in an instant, by a look, a tone, a word. That is, in my situation, the person I would walk away from the 99 for if I had to choose. Why is that? There are a million remedies available for every ailment known to man, but not one remedy is available to provide you will a safety net from a hurting heart or a wounded soul. I want to pop that pill to make me never hurt ever again. I want to hog tie my feet to prevent them from diving into that hurtful situation again, but when it comes to matters of the heart it is all part of the risk involved to give your heart to someone who may or may not treat it as a precious gift. I refuse to give up or become jaded, I pray every day for God to keep my heart open and to love like I was created to love. I trust that one day there will be that person beside me that values my love, and I will value theirs. I won’t expect perfection….just someone who can love me in all my imperfections as well. Time to pull myself up out of this cesspool of sadness and uncertainty and look at each day as a new opportunity to love bigger than the day before, no matter the risk.