Backing up a bit, we were burglarized November 30th. They took most all of our "valuables and what Christmas gifts I had already purchased. It was not a lot mind you ....I had just received my very first child support check and I did go shopping after Thanksgiving with that. ." I did not have renters insurance. Lesson learned, but the real lesson has been to never worry about things because God always takes care of us in the most loving and generous ways. He has put people in our lives that have come out of the woodwork to help us. My boys are having the most amazing Christmas.....it goes far beyond anything I could have provided for them in the first place! the best part is I have been able to give to others...truly help others have a great Christmas! It is so wonderful because it seems with each purchase or just when I think..that is it, I have done all I can do...I go to the mailbox or get a phone call and there is more coming our way. I am not bragging...please don't think I am bragging...I am just so humbled at Gods love and care. The details of His provision for us is unmistakeably personal. He love us and for some reason right now at this point in my life He is seeing fit to let me be loved on. I truly thank Him for that. My heart has been through so much...and I think it is finding reasons to look at life with breathless anticipation instead of fear of worry that so often crept in....I believe He will find ways to bring more peace into our lives...and although this divorce has been the most painful experience of my life aside from losing two children...it has taught me that God cares...he truly cares. He has enabled us to have a nice life here apart from my ex. He has enabled me to give my boys a home that they love and are proud of ....they never cease to sigh a big old sigh of relief when they return...and say lovingly....."home sweet apartment." I cannot tell you how good that makes me feel. One day my oldest came in and to my youngest he said...isn't it cool how no matter where you go or how big someone elses house is or how nice it is there is no place that feels as comfy or wonderful as home.
I love Christmas, I love we get to celebrate the birth of my Savior....I love that my boys are witnessing the Christmas spirit first hand and are enjoying the giving aspect as well. I love my life...and although the depths of my heart longs for that "special" person to ultimately share each and every day with me...I am content knowing that God has that in His plan as well, and I have learned the hard way that anything outside of His plan is simply not worth trying for!
